I guess it doesn't hurt anymore In the way that I'd be breaking down every day In the way that I couldn't sleep without seeing your face You used to beg me to write a song about you Well here's a whole fucking album you'll never hear You'll never hear what I really think of you I was being way too honest way back when you made me promise that I'd never see another girl like you Guess you got bored, now you're gone Wish I'd known that you'd move on At this point it's far too long to still feel blue But my words won't fall on deaf ears like they fell on yours for five years I try to see the light but it's blinding I'm trying not to let you define me I'm tryna give this love thing another chance But I can't seem to shake my bitterness I was being way too honest way back when you made me promise that I'd never see another girl like you Guess you got bored, now you're gone Wish I'd known that you'd move on At this point it's far too long to still feel blue But my words won't fall on deaf ears like they fell on yours for five years My words won't fall on deaf ears I'll keep on killing myself to push this album out To tell you all about how I felt

These past few years I've spent my time Looking for answers that I'll probably never find: What was running through your mind And why you always felt as if you had to lie My friends all tell me that it's time to pack up and move on with my life But no matter how hard I try The ink won't leave this pen; I think I lost myself again Now I'm back at square one When it's all said and done I lost and you won You know I feel so pathetic, you were never sympathetic at all You really fucked me up and over when you decided to break my heart and every promise that you ever made And I'll never be the same, and I'll tell myself that I'm better off this way But I've grown into the person that I know I used to hate (I've grown into someone that I used to hate) I'm back at square one When it's all said and done I lost and you won You know I feel so pathetic, you were never sympathetic at all

Life is not a fairy tale There is no once upon a time And happily ever after is just a phase until it dies I was everything you wanted Until you no longer wanted me to be everything you needed If an apology is what you want to hear I could say one word less than "I'm sorry" that would be way more sincere I don't regret being honest I only wish that I had done it with someone much less selfish So here we go again Running circles in my own head I sit and watch the seconds tick And think about what I couldn't fix Three coffins deep I thought I buried things that are right under my skin You gave me everything that I Took from you, or so I tried Insecurities, inferiorities And all the bad shit that I've let into my life I'm tired of being like this I can never let this go (I'll never let you go) I'm tired of acting like this I can never let this go And now I sit alone at home Just waiting for your name to light up the screen of my blackened phone Staring into space, knowing that you'll see his face every day The one you left me for I guess we know who loved who more If I had known how this would end You'd best believe that I never would have done the things I did If I had known how this would end I can't believe you were the one to go back on what you said I don't know you anymore And I guess I never did

Can I be honest for a song? All these angry songs I write, you should know it's a facade Cuz I still miss you I never wanted this to end I know you wanted to stay friends but I can't And no I'm not happy, I don't know if I'll ever be But it's not your fault What you did right and what you did wrong And if by chance you hear these words I hope you'll treat them as a singalong I did the things I said I would I made the friends I said I would And I did it for me I used to live for you but now you're just nothing but a memory

I saw you drowning and I reached out my hand But as the days went by I came to realize that you were stuck in mud not quicksand You were right where you wanted to be You had me right where you wanted me to be I could have pulled you out of that broken home on Delphinium Drive, but then, what would you know? [Whoa] I'm guessing you don't want to be saved [Whoa] I guess you don't want to be I've finally found people who make me feel on top of the world Life's too short to get hung up over a stupid girl Dulling out the grindstone making sure I don't waste this support Yeah I'm still healing, but at least I'm burying you under the dirt

You were choked up the last night I saw you, really saw through you In silence stifling, motions could've been measured in fractions of degrees Laying on my back in your driveway, the clouds as transparent as your intentions The moon, as impossible to touch: Your internal struggles, the state of mind where I wasn't an ally In denial, I tried to laugh it off That's what I've always done, just laugh it off But you weren't laughing Neither was I We hadn't laughed together in a long while Every argument played out in my head, the dumb things I said, filled with regret as every apology I owed you stuck somewhere between the pit of my stomach and the base of my neck: a debt you could never collect, and you grew to question my intent But did you ever question my distress? Did you ever accept the fact that I was also depressed? Or did you just intend to dwell on the fact that I wasn't perfect? When were my problems ever addressed? If my crime was neglect, you must also confess But I'm done being your emotional punching bag At this point it's all just forgive and forget that you used me up, rotted my insides and now I am just a husk looking after his rust Years after you left me on the side of your road You'll be returning home; I wonder if you'll be greeted at the door by your daughter Hayley Sloane, that's what you always wanted to call her Or has that changed? So much has changed for me, But was I important enough to you to affect that name? Maybe I never meant anything and it's all just the same Will you ever wonder about me? Will you reach out across infinity to hold my hand in another place at another time that might have been? Will we ever get the chance to talk and forgive so in time our wounds can heal with closure and amends? Or maybe just mine. Maybe you're just fine now. I wish you well...

I don't know you anymore It doesn't even matter anymore The leaves on your driveway Dead and sun-baked A neutral reminder of other days against the grey When everything wasn't so monochrome And your flickering porch light felt like home But colors will return for me one day Of that I'm certain Can't go on with this colorblind burden I don't think that I'm worthless I just don't know how to get over this Got me feelin kinda helpless Now I write these songs because I'm still depressed But my words won't fall on deaf ears... My words won't fall on deaf ears like they fell on yours for five years [I don't know you anymore and I guess I never did It doesn't even matter anymore and I guess it never did] Now I sit alone at home, just waiting for your name to light up the screen of my blackened phone I'll never be the same, and I'll tell myself that I'm better off this way I used to live for you but now you're nothing but a memory You used to beg me to write a song about you But my words won't fall on deaf ears like they fell on yours for five years I'm still healing but at least I'm burying you under the dirt. You used to beg me to write a song about you but now you're nothing but a memory You used to beg me to write a song about you but now you're nothing but a memory...